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Divorce Proof…God’s Way


Divorce Proof…God’s Way

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.”

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”

This is “part deux” of our little study of marriage and divorce.  Our text is still from the words that Jesus spoke on the Sermon on the Mount.  In Matthew 5, Jesus does not mix words about marriage and divorce.  And the reason, we have to remember, is because the covenant of marriage was created by His Father.  Things of God are to not be taken lightly or trivially.  Marriage is one of those things…and divorce, for one reason or another, is the breaking of a covenant.


Again, before I even write any more, Jesus died on the cross for second chances.  If you are reading this wondering if you could ever be given a second chance after divorce or a messed up relationship…Jesus died and rose for that very reason.  Just ask for forgiveness from Jesus.  It is that simple.  Also, remember that just as Jesus can forgive us, we need to ask forgiveness from those we may have wronged through a break up.  On the other side of that coin, we need to forgive as well.  Tough stuff…but you can do it.  You will be blessed through the process.


Now back to the focus of creating an environment inside and around your future or present marriage commitment that does not allow for divorce.  The first thing might sound cliché, but it needs to be said.  God needs to be first in your life.  Without Him, you won’t see the design that He has laid out for the lives of His creations.  God has designed humans, male and female, with differences that only He can explain…and He has through His word.  Marriage was designed and created by God as well.  There are specific things, gifts, abilities, strengths, that He has given us to compliment a life-long mate.


The second thing might at first give you the feeling that you’re being boxed in.  If that’s the case, then please just be patient as I take a moment to outline my thought.  If number one is THE priority in your life, then number two should come easier.  Commit to staying inside the boundaries that God placed around the institution of marriage and commit to accepting them as He has stated them.  This is the hard part.  We’re selfish.  That might sound harsh, but we all are.  We think about ourselves and our feelings and our emotions.  But it’s not about us…it’s about Him.


Marriage is between one man and one woman.  God started with the marriage of His first two humans, Adam and Eve.  That’s the only way God defines it.  Marriage is supposed to be life-long.  That’s the only way God defines it…we know that from last week’s discussion on divorce.  Marriage is not living together…Jesus talks to the woman at the well about this.  Marriage is to always be about loving the other person.  Ephesians 5 defines this for both husband and wife.  These are God’s definitions.  The world, however, has come up with its own definitions.


So with these two things, we can figure that if we get farther away from God…or we walk outside of His boundaries, marriage will never be what it was intended to be for us or our children.  Yes, I know…I had to throw the kids in there…but they are a part of the original design.  Again, marriage isn’t about us.  It’s about God and our spouse and if applicable…our kids.


Ok…so here we are.  There’s the foundation.  We know we’re not perfect.  And many of you reading will say, “Well, I’ve messed it up.”  Yes, I’m in the same boat.  We’re all going to fall short of the perfect mark.  But that never means that we should settle for less…because when we settle for less it affects other people and our relationship with God.  What do we do then when we realize that God isn’t first, or we’ve messed things up with the people who are inside of them family we’ve helped create?


First thing.  Choose to change.  Ok…another simple answer that will take hard work.  Many of you might be saying ‘Easier said than done.’  Very true.  It’s always easy to say something rather than do something.  But when it comes down to it, what do you want?  If you really want a better relationship with God or a better relationship with your future or present spouse…you’ll do the hard work.  But that’s only if you really want it.  God has promised that we will have His Peace, His Blessings, and His Compliments when we walk with Him.  Oh that reminds me…It’s not us alone trying to change.  If we are truly walking with Him, it’s us and Him together doing the hard work.  You have a training coach…a partner.  The One who designed the system is going to mentor you in it.  You don’t often get a relationship like that this side of Heaven.


Change is tough.   I just read a story from leadership guru John Maxwell that detailed an emergency trip to the hospital.  He was having a heart attack.  The attending physician did immediate surgery and saved John’s life.  It was a new procedure.  One year earlier, the older standby procedure was still in place.  The Dr. told John that the new procedure saved his life.  If they hadn’t had changed, the old procedure would not have saved his life.  Change can be good.  John then had to change eating behaviors, lifestyle habits, etc.  Change is keeping John healthier…and…let’s just say it…alive.


What are you willing to change for the sake of God and your partner?  Are you willing to stay inside healthy dating habits as you approach marriage?  Will you commit to staying pure sexually?  Will you choose to keep living arrangements separate until marriage?  If you’re already married, are you willing to stop selfish attitudes that might be harmful?  Are you willing to give up your wants for more gain in the end in relationship to your wife and children?  What are you willing to change?  Are you willing to get help if necessary?  Are you willing to say to God that you want His plan rather than the world’s plan?  Are you willing to do the hard work?  I hope so.  Believe me, many reading this are saying…this has ‘Me’ written all over it.  Meaning…you’re not in the boat alone.  There are always bumps in the road.  Sometimes there are huge pot holes.  Sometimes the bridge is out…there is no road.  But God, the one who created the universe, can recreate roads and bridges.  Again, are you willing?  He wants you to be.  He’s your biggest cheerleader!  He wants you to either start right…or start over right.  He is the God of second chances.  Take the second chance He’s offering you.


Summary:  How to divorce proof marriage?  Accept God and His ways for marriage and follow them.  Blessings will follow.


PS – I know that we’re talking about marriage here, but as Paul states in Ephesians 5, we are talking ultimately about God’s Kingdom and about Christ our savior.  When we operate within the rules of the Kingdom, we show others that God is number one in our lives and that being with Him is a great place to be.  Other’s will notice that and wonder why we have Peace in the midst of a perceived storm.  The Kingdom will keep moving forward.  As Jesus said, “…the gates of Hell…” won’t stop us.


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